‘A Brush with Death’ is More Like a Brush with Mediocrity (review)

Low budget movie, supposedly “based on true events.” Five teenage girls (cheerleaders, natch) head to a relative’s mansion for the weekend, and decide instead to visit the house nearby where a young boy killed his sociopath brother. They come across a few red herrings: gentle Caleb, his sadistic boss, and hottie Regan. When one of the girls disappears, the other four have to scramble to avoid the same fate.

Fuck this dump! Let’s go to the murder house!

Maybe there’s a tongue-in-cheek quality I’m missing, but the girls have no character development, no depth, and no redeeming qualities. With the exception of kindly Amber, they’re catty, vapid bimbos. They make statements like these: “Stupid blonds.” “Uh, you’re a blond.” “Well I’m a dirty blond.” “Yeah you are a dirty blond.” They also spend most of the movie in bikinis. The two dark-haired girls are easy to tell apart, but the three blond girls I had to distinguish as the dead one, the one with curly hair, and the one with big teeth. Aside from that the acting is terrible and the twist ending is predictable. And to top it all off, the title is a pun. Below is pretty much the movie in a nutshell:

The less than prudent decision to visit the rickety old house reminds me of when I was a kid and my friend Hope and I recorded ourselves making haunted house tapes. The plot was invariably a stranded person or couple with a broken down car, needing to use the phone in the creepy house up the street. The two premises are a bit different, but similar in production value, script, and delivery. Not even the nostalgia factor can save this one for me. I saw this with my sisters and our menfolks, which is always a good time, because if the movie’s bad, we can at least make fun of it. This is one of those. Check it out if you’re in the mood for some tomfoolery.

Published by GhoulieJoe

I wuvs the horror movies and like to write snarky reviews about them. I also included some pretentious as hell microfiction (don't worry, it's at the bottom).

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