‘A Brush with Death’ is More Like a Brush with Mediocrity (review)

Low budget movie, supposedly “based on true events.” Five teenage girls (cheerleaders, natch) head to a relative’s mansion for the weekend, and decide instead to visit the house nearby where a young boy killed his sociopath brother. When one of the girls disappears, the other four have to scramble to avoid the same fate.

Fuck this dump! Let’s go to the murder house!

Maybe there’s a tongue-in-cheek quality I’m missing, but the female leads, who spend much of the movie scantily dressed, have no character development, no depth, and no redeeming qualities. I had trouble even telling them apart. With the exception of kindly Amber, they’re catty, vapid bimbos. They make statements like these: “Stupid blondes.” “Uh, you’re a blonde.” “Well I’m a dirty blonde.” “Yeah you are a dirty blonde.” Aside from that, the acting is terrible and the twist ending is predictable. And to top it all off, the title is a pun. Below is pretty much the movie in a nutshell:

The less than prudent decision to visit the rickety old house reminds me of when I was a kid and my friend Hope and I recorded ourselves making haunted house tapes. The plot was invariably a stranded person or couple with a broken down car, needing to use the phone in the creepy house up the street. The two premises are a bit different, but similar in production value, script, and delivery. Now I’m not saying don’t watch; I am saying if you’re looking for something you can poke fun at, perhaps with friends (my favorite horror movie buddies include my two sisters), this is a prime candidate. Check it out if you’re in the mood for some tomfoolery.

Published by GhoulieJoe

I wuvs the horror movies and like to write snarky reviews about them. I also included some pretentious as hell microfiction (don't worry, it's at the bottom).

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