‘Make a Wish’ (AKA ‘Lesbian Psycho!’): A Cheesy Slasher Movie with Gay Women is Still a Cheesy Slasher Movie (review)

It’s Susan’s birthday, and to celebrate she makes the masochistic decision to spend it camping with six of her ex-girlfriends, five of whom cheated on her. As can be expected of people in a horror movie drinking and having sex in the woods, they begin dying off. Is it Susan getting revenge, or is it her ex’s current boyfriend, or the private detective snooping around, or the creepy guy with a thing for Susan (who makes brilliant statements like, “I just don’t like to see ladies bothered by people who are bothering them. It’s bothersome”) or angry dumpee Dawn?

Dawn (second from the left) is just the WORST

Make a Wish puts me in the mood to gripe. While it’s refreshing to have a break from slasher movies’ general rampaging heterosexuality, aside from the women all being queer this film is highly unoriginal. As per usual for the genre, the ladies are lacking in character development and can’t wait to rip off their clothes. The dialogue is sub-par, for example this witty exchange: “This is giving me a bad feeling.” “Then why don’t you let me give you a good one?” The ending is also baffling.

But thankfully no cups

Maybe there’s a tongue-in-cheek quality that I’m missing (the grandest joke seems to be Dawn’s inability to stop saying she’s doing a “healing witchual” instead of ritual when teased about her over-the-top spirituality), but I was offended by the gratuitous nudity and refusal to be monogamous of most of the characters in a way that I wouldn’t be by heterosexual-centered films—I expected better. Susan complains that men are “always watching,” but I felt like a voyeur as well.

I guess there are worse ways to spend 96 minutes

I have a hard time deciding whom the film is intended for. Given the promiscuity and stupidity of the women, one could assume men. However it’s written and directed by women. Also, the actresses look like real people, and none of their breasts appear to be bigger than A-cups. That said, you should give it a look if you’re seriously tired of the under-representation of gay women in the movies, slasher or otherwise—enjoy the boobs.

Published by GhoulieJoe

I wuvs the horror movies and like to write snarky reviews about them. I also included some pretentious as hell microfiction (don't worry, it's at the bottom).

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