‘Creepshow 2’: Dimestore Morality and Creative Gore (review)

Inspired by the EC comics of the 1950s (and of course the original film), it’s an anthology of three segments. “Ol’ Chief Wood’nhead” concerns a kindly shopkeeper (George Kennedy) whose wooden Indian statue takes revenge after a robbery. “The Raft” is about four college students on a lake menaced by a hungry blob. “The Hitch-Hiker” is the tale of a woman (Lois Chiles) haunted by her hit-and-run victim (Tom Wright).

cre5
Ya see, kids, these Indian statues out in front of stores used to be a common thing ’cause 18th century white folks were illiterate and ignorant AF

The first segment is extremely offensive. The store owner is white, and while he’s friendly and generous to his Native American customers, his wife (Dorothy Lamour) is condescending, saying things like, “You’re too good to these people, Ray.”  Ray is likable, but even he gets in on the cliches with dialogue like, “Sam Whitemoon, you’re a disgrace to your people.” Not to mention the reverence with which the “good” Native American character treats the wooden statue. And in the true spirit of the ’50s, Sam appears to be played by a white dude in brownface–see below, Holt McCallany in character and out.

In addition, the statue kills in the most stereotypical ways possible: arrows, a hatchet, and scalping. While class issues are present, like Sam’s counterpoint, his rich white friend Andy (Don Harvey), Sam’s desire to get out of poverty is overshadowed by how absolutely terrible a person he is.

cre6.jpg
“This heap big racist!”

Race and class issues come up again in the third segment, a bit more successfully. Annie, a wealthy white woman, kills a shabbily dressed hitch-hiking Black man—she’s distracted because she damaged her luxury car’s leather interior. She feels guilty but rationalizes the incident, concluding that she’ll turn herself in later if she can’t live with it. Shortly after, she balks at the extensive damage done to her vehicle while ramming the man after he comes for her: “Look at this car! $3,000, $4,000.” The second segment seems more about environmental issues; the blob is supposed to resemble an oil slick (It looks more like a tarp to me), and it has bits of garbage floating in it. And of course not to get high, have fun, and have sex.

cre8
[As he’s choking her] “How much do you want?”–actual quote
The movie has a fairly impressive pedigree. It was written by George A. Romero. Greg Nicotero (of The Walking Dead among many, many other things) is a make-up effects technician. There are cameos by Tom Savini and Stephen King. However, “The Raft” is the closest any of them come to being scary. The goo is intelligent and sneaky; its skin-melting effects are gory and extremely painful to its victims.

cre4
Bleh!

“The Hitch-Hiker” is more funny than anything, once I put aside my white guilt. In one scene, the man is hanging out of Annie’s sunroof and resembling nothing so much as Superman flying while she speeds and tries to dislodge him, and at one point he ends up stuck on her bumper, pounding on her hood with his fists. He’s not an invulnerable monster; also, scary ghosts don’t say things like, “How you doing, lady?” and carry handmade signs that say, “You killed me.” Seriously, check out this gif.

cre8
“Don’t call me lady!”

Despite my jabs, I have to admit I’ve watched this many times with my sisters, and we still quote it to this day, particularly “Thanks for the ride, lady.” Give it a look if you’re in the mood for something hokey and fun.

cre7
Look, it’s Tom Savini!

 

 

Published by GhoulieJoe

I wuvs the horror movies and like to write snarky reviews about them. I also included some pretentious as hell microfiction (don't worry, it's at the bottom).

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: