Top 25 Movie Quotes: Part V

Ever seen the American Film Institute’s list of movie quotes? Let me sum up: of the hundred, about 25 are Casablanca and Gone with the Wind. Most of the rest are from the other golden oldies that are revered by the writers of film studies textbooks; they may be well-made, but they’re also very much a reminder of how discriminatory Hollywood was in terms of race, gender, and sexual orientation. Though I give big ups for including Jaws, Psycho, and The Sixth Sense, the AFI’s selections just don’t speak to me, and if you’re on this site, perhaps they don’t speak to you, either. Though many of the movies I quote from aren’t horror, they are all delightful (the quotes, not necessarily the movies). After trying and failing to narrow down my own list to a slim ten squared, here is part five of several upcoming parts. In no particular order (except the chronological order in which I wrote about these films in my movie journal):

25.) Dracula (Gary Oldman): “They say you are a man of good…taste.” (Bram Stoker’s Dracula, 1992)

24.) Playwright Joe Orton (Gary Oldman), ogling a guy: “He’s built like a brick shithouse!” (Prick Up Your Ears, 1987)

23.) Frida Kahlo (Salma Hayek): “At the end of the day, we can endure much more than we think we can.” (Frida, 2002)

22.) El Mariachi (Antonio Banderas): “Carolina, did I thank you?” Carolina (Salma Hayek): “No.” El Mariachi: “I will.” (Desperado, 1995)

Cool folks don’t look at explosions

21.) Renee (Darlanne Fluegel), an evil zombie who’s melting in a fire: “Your father and I are trying to work things out!” (Pet Sematary Two)

20.) Nora (Helen Reddy): “If there’s enough room in this town for a chowderhead like you, then there’s more than enough room for a dragon.” (Pete’s Dragon, 1977)

“I am woman, hear me roar!”

19.) Seth (Jeff Goldblum): [Cheerfully examining a growth on his stomach] “Oh, look at this. What’s this? I don’t know.” (The Fly, 1986)

18.) Anastasia (Meg Ryan): “Do you really think I’m royalty?” Dimitri (John Cusack): “You know I do.” Anastasia: “Then stop bossing me around.” (Anastasia, 1997)

17.) Armand (Robin Williams), to his son, who’s getting married to a senator’s daughter and wants to pretend his parents are heterosexual: “Yes, I wear foundation. Yes, I live with a man. Yes, I’m a middle-aged fag. But I know who I am, Val. It took me twenty years to get here, and I’m not gonna let some idiot senator destroy that. Fuck the senator, I don’t give a damn what he thinks.” (The Birdcage, 1996)

16.) Jasmine (some white lady–I mean Linda Larkin): “I am not a prize to be won!” (Aladdin, 1992)

Sure this movie’s all kinds of problematic, but in the early ’90s it was pretty groundbreaking to have a Disney princess of color who wore pants

15.) Robert Thorn (Gregory Peck), after being warned that his son is the antichrist: “I never want to see you again.” Father Brennan (Patrick Troughton): “You’ll see me in hell, Mr. Thorn.” (The Omen, 1976)

14.) Brick (Steve Carell), atop a bear at the zoo: “Hey, Ron! I’m riding a furry tractor!” (Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy)

13.) Darcy (Joan Allen), reading the note her husband, whom she has just found out is a serial kiler, left with her sleeping pills: “Ask yourself if you really need one of these tonight. Yeah, well, I think tonight I do!” (A Good Marriage, 2014)

12.) Title card: “Based on true events. While the names have been changed to respect the victims and their families, the musical numbers will be performed exactly as they occurred.” (Stage Fright, 2014)

11.) Mrs. Banks, a suffragist (Glynis Johns): “We’re all going to Downing Street to throw things at the Prime Minister.” (Mary Poppins, 1964)

10.) Doofer (Harland Williams), who’s dressing as a lady to infiltrate a party: “Look at this little handbag, man, this’ll go perfect with my shoesies.” (Sorority Boys, 2002)

9.) Adult Francie (Stephen Rea), narrating a scene of his childhood: “If anyone was looking for Francie the bad bastard they wouldn’t find him because he was busy getting the Francie not a bad bastard anymore diploma.” (The Butcher Boy, 1997)

Could not decide on an image or find a decent clip, so here’s the trailer

8.) Hyo-shin (Park Yejin), to her girlfriend: “I heard church bells when I first saw you.” (Yeogo goedam II AKA Whispering Corridors: Memento Mori)

7.) [Miss Price (Angela Lansbury) has turned the headmaster into a rabbit] “I warned you, Mr. Browne. Now where is the book?” (Bedknobs and Broomsticks, 1971)

6.) Ed (Nick Frost), on the phone with his friend’s mum: “We’re coming to get you, Barbara.” (Shaun of the Dead, 2004) [This is a play on the line “They’re coming to get you, Barbra” from Night of the Living Dead]

5.) The meaning of life: “Try and be nice to people. Avoid eating fat. Read a good book every now and then. Get some walking in. And try to live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.” (Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life, 1983)

4.) Flight attendant played by Molly Ringwald, star of many teen angst movies in the ’80s: “Fucking teenagers!” (Not Another Teen Movie)

3.) Wilbur (Henry Gibson), to Charlotte: “Does versatile mean full of eggs?” (Charlotte’s Web, 1973)

2.) Captain Lucas (Nestor Paiva): “It is impossible. But I, Lucas, will do it.” (Creature from the Black Lagoon, 1954)

That’s Lucas on the left

1.) [Kelly (Alexie Gilmore) and Jim (Bryce Johnson) are studying murals of Bigfoot] Kelly: “He seems clinically depressed, actually.” Jim: “Yeah. ‘Bigfoot sad. Bigfoot no want to work in garden.’ ” Kelly: “Why are they forcing him to do all this work?” Jim: “I don’t know, what the fuck is this. Like, they got him as a day laborer or something. ‘Bigfoot help you put up house for berries.’ ” Kelly: “I would avoid man, too, if I had to do all of this shit.” (Willow Creek, 2013)

Author’s note: I have extensively relied on IMDb for help, both with dates and with some of the quotes.

Published by GhoulieJoe

I wuvs the horror movies and like to write snarky reviews about them. I also included some pretentious as hell microfiction (don't worry, it's at the bottom).

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