‘Dreamcatcher’: *makes puking noises* (review)

Four friends from childhood: Henry, a suicidal psychiatrist (Thomas Jane), Jonesy, a psychic teacher (Damian Lewis), Pete, a car salesman good at finding lost stuff (Timothy Olyphant), and not-much-going-for-him Beaver (Jason Lee) return to their cabin in the woods for their annual hunting trip. Unfortunately, they’re accosted by a variety of aliens, from the culturedContinue reading “‘Dreamcatcher’: *makes puking noises* (review)”

‘Drag Me to Hell’ is Silly but Occasionally Eerie (review)

Christine (Alison Lohman) is a loan officer trying to move up in the world. She’s neck-and-neck for a promotion with her coworker Stu (Reggie Lee), who fights dirty. So when old Mrs. Ganush (Lorna Raver) comes asking for an extension on her house payment, Christine turns her away. Unfortunately, the woman places a Gypsy curseContinue reading “‘Drag Me to Hell’ is Silly but Occasionally Eerie (review)”

‘Dark House’ (2009) is Repulsive, and Not in a Good Way (review)

Claire (Meghan Ory) is a college student with a dark past: when she was a young child, she witnessed local kid-hoarder Mrs. Darrode (Diane Salinger) kill her seven foster children. As an adult, Claire has to take medication; unfortunately, this cuts her off from her emotions, which disrupts her chosen profession of acting. Her therapistContinue reading “‘Dark House’ (2009) is Repulsive, and Not in a Good Way (review)”

‘Dracula: Dead and Loving It’ is Eternally Amusing (review)

Parody of Dracula movies by way of Mel Brooks. It has the same basic plot as Dracula (mixing aspects of Tod Browning’s 1931 version and Francis Ford Coppola’s 1992 version): Count Dracula (Leslie Nielsen) makes a living (undeading?) drinking blood and corrupting repressed virgins until he crosses the wrong people, namely Dr. Seward (Harvey Korman),Continue reading “‘Dracula: Dead and Loving It’ is Eternally Amusing (review)”

‘Dr. Giggles’ is Goofy and Slightly Creepy (review)

Dr. Giggles (the late, great Larry Drake) is an escaped mental patient who likes to pretend he’s a doctor. Hence the name, he also laughs at inappropriate times, not unlike Dr. Hibbert on The Simpsons. He returns to his hometown to take revenge for his father, who was killed by the locals because he murderedContinue reading “‘Dr. Giggles’ is Goofy and Slightly Creepy (review)”

John Erick Dowdle’s ‘Devil’ is a Hell of a Good Time (review)

Sometimes the Devil likes to torture people before taking their souls, so he gets them in a group, hides among them, and really freaks them out. One such group is comprised of Vince (Geoffrey Arend), a con artist, Jane (Jenny O’Hara), a snobby middle-aged woman, Ben (Bokeem Woodbine) a security guard with a violent temper,Continue reading “John Erick Dowdle’s ‘Devil’ is a Hell of a Good Time (review)”

‘Demon Knight’ is Campy Fun (review)

AKA Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight. Wormwood, New Mexico is home to lots of unsavory characters, but now it’s host to a demon known as The Collector (Billy Zane) as well as Brayker (William Sadler), the human he’s chasing. Long story short, the demons need seven keys to rule the earth, and already possess (heeContinue reading “‘Demon Knight’ is Campy Fun (review)”

‘Death Becomes Her’ is a Clever Modern Take on ‘Frankenstein’ (review)

Helen (Goldie Hawn) and Madeline (Meryl Streep) are former high school rivals who once again come to blows over Helen’s fiancé Ernest (Bruce Willis): Helen loves him, while Madeline craves his skills as a plastic surgeon. Ernest picks Madeline. Flash forward fourteen years. Helen is a gorgeous, famous author, while Madeline and Ernest are agingContinue reading “‘Death Becomes Her’ is a Clever Modern Take on ‘Frankenstein’ (review)”

David Cronenberg’s ‘Dead Ringers’ is Brilliant and Wrenching (review)

Twin brothers Beverly and Elliot are genius boys trying to understand women and their ways. After discussing the wonders of fish intercourse (they don’t need physical contact to procreate), they ask a neighbor girl to have sex with them in their bathtub. They grow up to become famous gynecologists, ironically learning very little about women.Continue reading “David Cronenberg’s ‘Dead Ringers’ is Brilliant and Wrenching (review)”

‘Dead Silence’: Intense enough for ‘Saw’ Fans, but with Much Less Gore (review)

In the town of Raven’s Fair it’s a good idea not to scream, or one may lose one’s tongue to the ghost of Mary Shaw. Shaw was a ventriloquist who had the nasty habit of murdering local children who heckled her show. So the town rose up and killed her. However, she regularly returns fromContinue reading “‘Dead Silence’: Intense enough for ‘Saw’ Fans, but with Much Less Gore (review)”