1982’s ‘The Dark Crystal’ is Terrifying but Ultimately Optimistic (review)

Directed by Jim Henson and Frank Oz, acted by puppets. In a dying world, the only hope is to repair the cracked Dark Crystal. The task of doing so falls to Jen, a Gelfling (they’re kinda like elves) who was raised by the kindly Mystics (a cross between a horse and something with four arms).Continue reading “1982’s ‘The Dark Crystal’ is Terrifying but Ultimately Optimistic (review)”

‘The Deaths of Ian Stone’ is Pretty Okay (review)

Ian (Mike Vogel) has a rather odd existence. One day he’s a hockey player with a girlfriend named Jenny (Christina Cole); another day he’s an office worker and Jenny is only an acquaintance—his girlfriend is a woman named Medea (Jaime Murray). One day he’s driving a cab and Jenny is his passenger; another day he’sContinue reading “‘The Deaths of Ian Stone’ is Pretty Okay (review)”

‘The Darkroom’ (2006) is Fine the First Time, but Less So on Subsequent Viewings (review)

Not to be confused with the 2013 film Darkroom. John Doe (Reed Diamond) is a guy with amnesia who has spent the last 15 years in a mental hospital after he was found on the side of the road with blood on his hands. Enter Dr. Allen (Ellie Cornell), a drug company rep who’s testingContinue reading “‘The Darkroom’ (2006) is Fine the First Time, but Less So on Subsequent Viewings (review)”

‘Dead Waves’ is Creepy, Thoughtful, and Occasionally Hilarious (review)

Japanese movie, AKA Shiryôha. Usui is the director of a popular supernatural T.V. show called Spirit Sightings. He is contacted by Tsuyoshi, who wants his apparently possessed sister Runa to get a free televised exorcism. Runa is opposed to the idea, and for good reason: the dead waves, which are “Radio waves believed to harborContinue reading “‘Dead Waves’ is Creepy, Thoughtful, and Occasionally Hilarious (review)”

‘The Dead Hate the Living!’ is a Delight for Hardcore Horror Fans (review)

David Poe (Eric Clawson) is a director making a low-budget zombie movie in an abandoned hospital. He and his crew: makeup guy and best friend Paul (Brett Beardslee), leading ladies (who are also his sisters) Nina (Kimberly Pullis) and Shelly (Wendy Speake), leading man Eric (Benjamin P. Morris), production assistant Topaz (Jamie Donahue), extra MarcusContinue reading “‘The Dead Hate the Living!’ is a Delight for Hardcore Horror Fans (review)”

‘Dead Alive’ AKA ‘Braindead’ is a Disgustingly Good Time (review)

New Zealand, 1954. The Sumatran Rat Monkey has just been acquired by a zoo; too bad it’s infected with a nasty disease that makes people rabid. Largely affected by this is kindly Lionel (Timothy Balme), whose mum Vera (Elizabeth Moody) is bitten and becomes (for lack of a better word) a zombie. She bites otherContinue reading “‘Dead Alive’ AKA ‘Braindead’ is a Disgustingly Good Time (review)”

‘Darkness Falls’: A Little Creepy and a Little Crappy (review)

In Darkness Falls (most depressing town name ever) the children have to be careful upon losing their last baby tooth; the ghost of Matilda Dixon (Antony Burrows)—AKA the Tooth Fairy—will come to collect it, and if her face is seen, it means certain doom. The only way to keep her at bay is with light.Continue reading “‘Darkness Falls’: A Little Creepy and a Little Crappy (review)”

‘Da Hip Hop Witch’ is a Baffling but Somewhat Entertaining Parody of ‘The Blair Witch Project’ (review)

2000 spoof of The Blair Witch Project. The “Black Witch of the Projects” is an angry spirit who tends to attack rappers, including Ja Rule, Eminem, Rah Digga, and Vanilla Ice (who play themselves). She seems more of a nuisance than anything, as every victim lives to tell his or her story about the incident.Continue reading “‘Da Hip Hop Witch’ is a Baffling but Somewhat Entertaining Parody of ‘The Blair Witch Project’ (review)”