‘Mary’: More Like ‘Meh-ry’

We open with a title card about a witch coming to steal kids at sea, and move on to Sarah (Emily Mortimer) being held by the police, who speculate “God only knows what happened out there.” Sarah is dehydrated and bruised, and her husband David (Gary Oldman) is conspicuously absent, though their daughters Lindsey (StefanieContinue reading “‘Mary’: More Like ‘Meh-ry’”

‘Midsommar’: It’s Long and Challenging, but Ultimately Worth It

Dani (Florence Pugh) is a young lady who’s in mourning from the loss of her entire immediate family: her sister, while committing suicide by car exhaust, killed their parents as well. Meanwhile, her less-than-committed boyfriend Christian (Jack Reynor) has been planning a trip to Sweden with his buddies Josh (William Jackson Harper), Pelle (Vilhelm Blomgren),Continue reading “‘Midsommar’: It’s Long and Challenging, but Ultimately Worth It”

‘Meet the Feebles’: Not Technically a Horror Movie, but it’s Pretty Damn Frightening (review)

Peter Jackson’s second film. It concerns the cast and crew of the childrens’ show Meet the Feebles, all puppets, who are trying to rehearse for their upcoming bid for syndication. We have Heidi Hippo, a binge-eating has-been, Wynyard the frog, a heroin addict with PTSD from his tour in Vietnam, Robert the virtuous hedgehog, BillyContinue reading “‘Meet the Feebles’: Not Technically a Horror Movie, but it’s Pretty Damn Frightening (review)”

‘Misery’: Even with the Corny Sheriff, and the Hobbling Scene Already Spoiled for You, it’s Still Pretty Intense (review)

Paul (James Caan) is a writer famous for his romance novels about a woman named Misery. After finishing his new non-Misery novel (having killed her in his newest published book), he crashes his car during a blizzard. He’s rescued by Annie (Kathy Bates), a former nurse who treats his multiple injuries in her home, claimingContinue reading “‘Misery’: Even with the Corny Sheriff, and the Hobbling Scene Already Spoiled for You, it’s Still Pretty Intense (review)”

‘Mirrormask’: I Dislike the Fantasy Genre, but I’ll Make an Exception (review)

Written by Neil Gaiman, with special effects by The Jim Henson Company, blending CGI with live action. Helena (Stephanie Leonidas) is a bratty teenage girl whose parents run a circus, which she hates (as she says, “I want to run away and join real life”). After her mother (Gina McKee) becomes sick (shortly following anContinue reading “‘Mirrormask’: I Dislike the Fantasy Genre, but I’ll Make an Exception (review)”

‘Mimic’: Get Ready to Get Bugged! (review)

Due to an epidemic affecting children that happens to be carried by cockroaches, New York entomologist Dr. Susan (Mira Sorvino) engineers a “Judas” beetle that will kill the nasties. In the process, the Judas beetle keeps mutating—so much so that it begins to “mimic its predator”—us. It’s up to Susan, her partner Dr. Peter (JeremyContinue reading “‘Mimic’: Get Ready to Get Bugged! (review)”

‘The Midnight Meat Train’: Exquisite and Eerie (review)

Leon (Bradley Cooper) is a photographer looking to capture the brutal heart of New York City. He gets more than he bargained for when he comes across Mahogany (Vinnie Jones), a serial killer who hunts his victims on the late-night subway (as suggested by the title). Leon, intrigued by Mahogany, tracks him, and finds outContinue reading “‘The Midnight Meat Train’: Exquisite and Eerie (review)”

‘The Messengers’: Meh (review)

American movie directed by the Pang brothers (The Eye, Bangkok Dangerous). Jess (Kristen Stewart) is a teenage girl getting a fresh start on a South Dakota farm with her family: little brother Ben (Evan and Theodore Turner), mother Denise (Penelope Ann Miller), and father Roy (Dylan McDermott). She’s at odds with her parents for anContinue reading “‘The Messengers’: Meh (review)”

Lucky McKee’s ‘May’: A Savage Look at the Pain of Unrealistic Beauty Standards (review)

May (Angela Bettis) is an extremely lonely young woman looking for that perfect somebody. She mourns the fact that people have “pretty parts, but no pretty wholes.” She meets Adam (Jeremy Sisto), who is initially interested, but soon creeped out by her, particularly when she bites him. She then tries to make a relationship withContinue reading “Lucky McKee’s ‘May’: A Savage Look at the Pain of Unrealistic Beauty Standards (review)”

‘Maximum Overdrive’ is Really…Gosh, I Love Emilio Estevez (review)

A rogue comet causes motor vehicles and random electronic items to become sentient and murderous. A group of survivors band together at a truck stop to hold the machines off. However, diesel trucks keep coming, with an endless thirst for gas. (For some reason, the gas pumps are layabouts, while the meat slicers are moreContinue reading “‘Maximum Overdrive’ is Really…Gosh, I Love Emilio Estevez (review)”