‘The Platform’ Asks Some Disturbing Questions

Spanish movie, AKA El Hoyo. Goreng (Ivan Massagué) is a principled man who applies to be sent to “The Hole”, a prison, in order to quit smoking and read a lengthy book. At the end of six months, he will have earned an accredited diploma. The Hole involves 333 floors, with two people per level.Continue reading “‘The Platform’ Asks Some Disturbing Questions”

‘Play or Die’: Ignore the Haters, it’s Actually Quite Enjoyable

Belgian movie, but in English. Lucas (Charley Palmer Rothwell) is a bored cashier whose ennui is interrupted by the sudden return of his ex, Chloé (Roxane Mesquida). She convinces him to enter the final round of Paranoia, a game of wits and riddle-solving, with a prize of a million Euros (roughly a million dollars U.S.).Continue reading “‘Play or Die’: Ignore the Haters, it’s Actually Quite Enjoyable”

‘Polaroid’ is an Average but Amusing Teen-Centered Romp

Bird (Kathryn Prescott) is your typical vanilla final girl whose friend Tyler (Davi Santos) gives her an old Polaroid camera from a yard sale. Unfortunately it’s a haunted camera–that’s bad. But it comes with film–that’s good! It also dooms everyone who has their picture taken–that’s bad. Can Bird solve the riddle of why the cameraContinue reading “‘Polaroid’ is an Average but Amusing Teen-Centered Romp”

‘Pathology’: Restrained and Thought-Provoking, But the Characters Suck (review)

Ted (Milo Ventimiglia) is the newest pathology resident at the county morgue. His group of peers there are arrogant jerks, from leader Jake (Michael Weston), interchangeable white guy number 1 Griffin (Johnny Whitworth), interchangeable white guy number 2 Chip (Dan Callahan), unremarkable Catherine (Meiling Melançon, and sex kitten Juliette (Lauren Lee Smith), who’s sort ofContinue reading “‘Pathology’: Restrained and Thought-Provoking, But the Characters Suck (review)”

‘Parasomnia’: GhoulieJoe Angry! (review)

Danny (Dylan McKnight) is a sad sack who’s moping over his girlfriend leaving him. He cheers up in a hurry when, while visiting a friend in drug rehab, he spies Laura (Cherilyn Wilson), a traditionally attractive girl with Sleeping Beauty Syndrome. This is characterized by her sleeping most of the time and having nightmares, thoughContinue reading “‘Parasomnia’: GhoulieJoe Angry! (review)”

‘Paranormal Activity’: Love it or Hate it, It’s a Seminal Film (review)

Katie (Katie Featherston) and her boyfriend Micah (Micah Sloat) are experiencing odd events in their home, like hearing footsteps and voices they can’t identify. Katie suspects that the demonic presence that’s been following her since she was eight has something to do with it. So she and Micah film themselves during the day and setContinue reading “‘Paranormal Activity’: Love it or Hate it, It’s a Seminal Film (review)”

Guillermo del Toro’s ‘Pan’s Labyrinth’: The Master Outdoes Himself! (review)

Spain, 1944, during the Spanish Revolution. Young girl Ofelia’s (Ivana Baquero) pregnant mother Carmen (Ariadna Gil) has just married the leader of the effort to suppress the resistance, Captain Vidal (Sergi Lopez). Ofelia, obsessed with fantasy stories, finds herself in a real-life fairy tale when a faun (Doug Jones), recognizing her as the reincarnation ofContinue reading “Guillermo del Toro’s ‘Pan’s Labyrinth’: The Master Outdoes Himself! (review)”

‘Pandorum’: Dense and Kinda Boring, but Overall it Delivers (review)

It’s 2174, and Earth, being vastly overpopulated, sends a Noah’s Arc-type spaceship to planet Tanis, which is compatible for living on. Unfortunately, the captain got a case of Pandorum, which causes paranoia and erratic behavior, and he sabotaged the mission. Eight years later, crew members Bower (Ben Foster) and Payton (Dennis Quaid) wake up, confusedContinue reading “‘Pandorum’: Dense and Kinda Boring, but Overall it Delivers (review)”

Pet Sematary (2019) is Great in its Own Way (review)

The Creed family: father Louis (Jason Clarke, Winchester), mother Rachel (Amy Seimetz, Stranger Things, Alien: Covenant), eight-year-old Ellie (Jeté Laurence, The Snowman), toddler Gage, and cat Church have just moved to a woodsy part of Maine for a chance to live the simple life. Unfortunately they find that life is simple nowhere, particularly when they live next to a road full ofContinue reading “Pet Sematary (2019) is Great in its Own Way (review)”

‘Para Elisa’: Not the Worst, but Often Frustrating and Unpleasant (review)

Spanish movie. Ana (Ona Casamiquela) is a college student who needs to raise money for a post-grad trip, so she answers an ad for a nanny. Unfortunately, her employer Diamantina (Luisa Gavasa) is completely unstable, and her daughter Elisa (Ana Turpin), who turns out to be older than Ana, wants her to be her doll.Continue reading “‘Para Elisa’: Not the Worst, but Often Frustrating and Unpleasant (review)”