‘The Shed’: A Decidedly Un-Sparkly Teen Vampire Dramedy

Stan (Jay Jay Warren) is living with his grandfather Ellis (Timothy Bottoms) on the edge of the woods. When neighbor Bane (Frank Whaley) is bitten by a vampire while hunting, he decides to snooze the day away in Ellis’s shed. This brings nothing but problems for Stan, as Bane tends to munch on anything thatContinue reading “‘The Shed’: A Decidedly Un-Sparkly Teen Vampire Dramedy”

'Snatchers': Imagine 'Juno', but with Hostile Aliens

Sara (Mary Nepi) is a teenage girl who’s determined to win back her ex-boyfriend Skyler (Austin Fryberger) by giving him her virginity. Unfortunately for her, he’s been infested with extraterrestrial matter, and impregnates her with alien spawn. She runs to her smart friend Hayley (Gabrielle Elyse), who stands by her when the quickly gestating creatureContinue reading “'Snatchers': Imagine 'Juno', but with Hostile Aliens”

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark is, Beyond a Doubt…Really…Something…(review)

Alvin Schwartz’s series of three Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark books were published nearly forty years ago, and generations of people have grown up reading them. Now imagine the pressure of adapting those beloved books into one movie. Consider that the stories in the book are based on folklore and urban legends, andContinue reading “Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark is, Beyond a Doubt…Really…Something…(review)”

‘The Strangers’: Dark, Disturbing, and All Too Plausible (movie review)

Kristen (Liv Tyler) and James (Scott Speedman) are a couple staying in an out-of-the way vacation house. They’re menaced and tormented by three masked sociopaths (Gemma Ward, Laura Margolis, and Kip Weeks). First and foremost, The Strangers is darn creepy. The magic of this movie is its wondrous subtlety. For example the scene when theContinue reading “‘The Strangers’: Dark, Disturbing, and All Too Plausible (movie review)”

Dario Argento’s ‘Suspiria’: Still Scary After All These Years (movie review)

Directed and co-written by Dario Argento, the king of Italian horror. Suzy (Jessica Harper) is an American boarding at a German dance school. On her arrival there, she runs into Pat, a girl fleeing the building after being expelled; she disappears without even packing her things. After a series of crazy mishaps (like maggots rainingContinue reading “Dario Argento’s ‘Suspiria’: Still Scary After All These Years (movie review)”

‘Summer of Fear’: Do it for Linda Blair and Wes Craven! (review)

Rachel (Linda Blair) is a teenage girl with a nice life: well-to-do, with a loving family and boyfriend (Jeff McCracken), and a cool best friend (Fran Drescher). Then her aunt and uncle die in a car accident, and her cousin Julia (Lee Purcell), whom no one has seen in ten years, comes to live withContinue reading “‘Summer of Fear’: Do it for Linda Blair and Wes Craven! (review)”

1974’s ‘Sugar Hill’: Blaxploitation by Way of American International Pictures (review)

Not to be confused with the Wesley Snipes movie of the same name. Sugar (Marki Bey) is a fine sista madly in love with her man Langston (Larry Don Johnson), owner of a popular nightclub. Morgan—The Man—(Robert Quarry) wants to buy it, and when Langston refuses, Morgan orders his gang of thugs to beat LangstonContinue reading “1974’s ‘Sugar Hill’: Blaxploitation by Way of American International Pictures (review)”

‘Stupid Teenagers Must Die!’: Unfunny “Spoofs” of Slasher Movies Must Die! (review)

It’s the 1980s, and a group of naughty teenagers are going to have a séance in ol’ Murder McGee’s house. There’s Final Girl Julie (Ashley Schneider), her boyfriend Kane the Token Black Guy (Jovan Meredith), gay couple Jamie (Christina DeRosa) and Sissy (Jamie Carson), Tough Guy Alfie (Devin Marble), Popular Girl Tiffany (Lindsay Gareth), NerdyContinue reading “‘Stupid Teenagers Must Die!’: Unfunny “Spoofs” of Slasher Movies Must Die! (review)”

The Stepford Wives (2004): Riddled with Plot Holes, but Still Pretty Socially Relevant (review)

Harried television executive Joanna (Nicole Kidman) moves to a Connecticut suburb with her husband Walter (Matthew Broderick) and their two children. Once there, she finds the women a little…strange. They’re happy, they love to cook and clean, and they’re just a little personality-deficient. When her new friends Roger (Roger Bart) and Bobbie (Bette Midler) surrenderContinue reading “The Stepford Wives (2004): Riddled with Plot Holes, but Still Pretty Socially Relevant (review)”

1987s’ ‘The Stepfather’: A Twisted Take on Suburbia and “Father Knows Best” (review)

Not to be confused with the remake—this is the 1987 original. Jerry (Terry O’Quinn) is a nice guy. He’s all about family values. He’s a genial real estate agent, a fun neighbor, and a loving husband and stepfather. He’s also a serial killer who likes to marry into families and murder all of the members.Continue reading “1987s’ ‘The Stepfather’: A Twisted Take on Suburbia and “Father Knows Best” (review)”