‘Visions’: Pretty to Look at, but Not Much Substance

Directed by Kevin Greutert, produced by Blumhouse. Evie (Isla Fisher) is a pregnant lady recovering from the trauma of inadvertently causing the death of an infant in a car crash the previous year. She and her husband David (Anson Mount) have just bought a sizable and lovely vineyard, but before they can begin to enjoyContinue reading “‘Visions’: Pretty to Look at, but Not Much Substance”

‘Vivarium’ is Satisfyingly Strange Without Being Pretentious

Gemma (Imogen Poots) and Tom (Jesse Eisenberg) are a young couple looking for a home. They come across a real estate office marketing the territory Yonder, which promises “Quality family homes. Forever.” After blithely ignoring the horrifying slogan, they find all the houses look exactly alike, and they’re completely devoid of residents. The realtor, MartinContinue reading “‘Vivarium’ is Satisfyingly Strange Without Being Pretentious”

‘Villains’: Thought-Provoking and Funny as Hell

Jules (Maika Monroe) and Mickey (Bill Skarsgård) are inept but resourceful thieves who have just robbed a gas station. Ironically running out of fuel in the middle of nowhere, they break into an empty well-appointed home. All is well until they stumble onto a little girl chained up in the basement. As they scramble toContinue reading “‘Villains’: Thought-Provoking and Funny as Hell”

M. Night Shyamalan’s ‘The Visit’: I Swear the Twist is Great and Somewhat Unpredictable (review)

Becca and Tyler are two teens whose mother (Kathryn Hahn) has shipped them off to stay with her estranged parents for a week. Nana and Pop Pop seem nice enough, but their behavior soon turns odd. Pop Pop is paranoid and quick to anger, while Nana tends to crawl on all fours, laugh hysterically atContinue reading “M. Night Shyamalan’s ‘The Visit’: I Swear the Twist is Great and Somewhat Unpredictable (review)”

‘Vile’: Earnest, Fascinating, and Absolutely Disgusting (review)

Nine people are drugged and wake up to find themselves in a house with a strange videotaped message. They are told they have to inflict pain on themselves in order to collect enough dopamine, serotonin, and adrenaline to fill up the vials on the back of their necks. As the woman on the recording (MariaContinue reading “‘Vile’: Earnest, Fascinating, and Absolutely Disgusting (review)”

‘Videodrome’: Way Ahead of its Time (review)

In the not-too-distant future, Max (James Woods) is the president of Channel 83, which specializes in showing sex and violence. His interest is piqued by a Malaysian broadcast called Videodrome, which stages rape, torture, and murder. He runs into trouble when he goes looking to buy it for his station, and finds out not onlyContinue reading “‘Videodrome’: Way Ahead of its Time (review)”

‘The Vault of Horror’: Feast Your Peepers on This, Boils and Ghouls! (review)

Based on the comic book series from the ‘50s (it was like Tales from the Crypt, only hosted by the Vaultkeeper rather than the Cryptkeeper—though both were mined for episodes of the TV show). Done as an anthology, the wraparound story involves five gents meeting and discussing their strange dreams. In “Midnight Mess,” Harold (DanielContinue reading “‘The Vault of Horror’: Feast Your Peepers on This, Boils and Ghouls! (review)”

‘The Vampire Lovers’: Homophobic, but Undeniably Hot (review)

Hammer/American International film. Marcilla (Ingrid Pitt) is a deadly vampire intent on wooing and feasting on virgin daughters, namely Laura (Pippa Steel) and Emma (Madeline Smith). She has a bit too much to eat and her victims’ daddies General von Spielsdorf (Peter Cushing) and Morton (George Cole), along with vampire hunter Baron Hartog (Douglas Wilmer),Continue reading “‘The Vampire Lovers’: Homophobic, but Undeniably Hot (review)”

‘Valentine’: Super Original! In That It Manages to Vilify Men and Women Equally and Simultaneously (review)

Due to an incident of snobbery in high school, five friends: Paige the sexy one (Denise Richards), Kate the popular one (Marley Shelton), Shelley the brainy one (Katherine Heigl), Lily the fun one (Jessica Cauffiel), and Dorothy the fat one (Jessica Capshaw) (Dorothy’s adjectives, not mine) are being stalked and killed by a psycho inContinue reading “‘Valentine’: Super Original! In That It Manages to Vilify Men and Women Equally and Simultaneously (review)”