‘Pandorum’: Dense and Kinda Boring, but Overall it Delivers (review)

It’s 2174, and Earth, being vastly overpopulated, sends a Noah’s Arc-type spaceship to planet Tanis, which is compatible for living on. Unfortunately, the captain got a case of Pandorum, which causes paranoia and erratic behavior, and he sabotaged the mission. Eight years later, crew members Bower (Ben Foster) and Payton (Dennis Quaid) wake up, confusedContinue reading “‘Pandorum’: Dense and Kinda Boring, but Overall it Delivers (review)”

2009’s ‘Don’t Look Up’: A Classic Ghost Story in an Exotic Locale (review)

Marcus (Reshad Strik) is a director yearning for a chance to make a comeback in the film industry. He’s also prone to having visions of ghosts, which leads him to a haunted movie set in Romania. It seems that in the 1920s, a director (Eli Roth, really playing against type here) was trying to makeContinue reading “2009’s ‘Don’t Look Up’: A Classic Ghost Story in an Exotic Locale (review)”

‘The Unborn’: Panties, Glorious Panties! And Lots of Upside Down Heads (review)

Casey (Odette Annable, née Yustman) is a normal college student whose world is torn asunder when she starts having visions of a ghostly boy (Ethan Cutkosky). Her brown eyes are also gradually turning blue. With the help of B.F.F. Romy (Meagan Good) she finds out her grandmother Sofi (Jane Alexander) was a holocaust survivor whoContinue reading “‘The Unborn’: Panties, Glorious Panties! And Lots of Upside Down Heads (review)”

‘Stan Helsing’: Immature but Amusing (review)

Stan (Steve Howey) is a video store clerk who on Halloween night gets roped into making a delivery to the owner’s mother with his ex-girlfriend Nadine (Diora Baird), his friend Teddy (Kenan Thompson), and Teddy’s date Mia (Desi Lydic). Despite Stan’s philosophy of not getting involved in other peoples’ problems, his friends are forced toContinue reading “‘Stan Helsing’: Immature but Amusing (review)”

Nightmares in Red, White and Blue: The Evolution of the American Horror Film–The Title Says it All (review)

Documentary of American horror movies. It features interviews with horror fixtures Larry Cohen, Joe Dante, John Carpenter, Darren Lynn Bousman, Mick Garris, Tom McLaughlin, George Romero, Brian Yuzna, and Roger Corman. Starting in 1910 with Thomas Edison’s adaptation of Frankenstein, it ponders the many meaningful themes explored in horror movies, like the nature of evil,Continue reading “Nightmares in Red, White and Blue: The Evolution of the American Horror Film–The Title Says it All (review)”

‘The Fourth Kind’ is Eerie, but Nowhere Near Based on a True Story (review)

Dr. Abigail Tyler (Milla Jovovich) is a psychologist in Alaska whose patients all seem to have repressed memories of being abducted by aliens. (The title comes from Allen Hynek’s scale for UFO experiences, being, respectively, sightings, physical effects, and the actual presence of aliens, though Hynek did not posit a fourth kind himself–thank you, Wikipedia.Continue reading “‘The Fourth Kind’ is Eerie, but Nowhere Near Based on a True Story (review)”

‘Drag Me to Hell’ is Silly but Occasionally Eerie (review)

Christine (Alison Lohman) is a loan officer trying to move up in the world. She’s neck-and-neck for a promotion with her coworker Stu (Reggie Lee), who fights dirty. So when old Mrs. Ganush (Lorna Raver) comes asking for an extension on her house payment, Christine turns her away. Unfortunately, the woman places a Gypsy curseContinue reading “‘Drag Me to Hell’ is Silly but Occasionally Eerie (review)”

‘Dark House’ (2009) is Repulsive, and Not in a Good Way (review)

Claire (Meghan Ory) is a college student with a dark past: when she was a young child, she witnessed local kid-hoarder Mrs. Darrode (Diane Salinger) kill her seven foster children. As an adult, Claire has to take medication; unfortunately, this cuts her off from her emotions, which disrupts her chosen profession of acting. Her therapistContinue reading “‘Dark House’ (2009) is Repulsive, and Not in a Good Way (review)”

‘Coraline’: Stop-Motion is Just About Guaranteed to be Unsettling (review)

Stop-motion film, directed by Harry Selick (The Nightmare Before Christmas). Coraline (Dakota Fanning) has just moved into a new apartment building, and is perpetually bored. Her workaholic parents (Teri Hatcher and John Hodgman) have no time for her, and are generally annoyed at her presence. She discovers a new world inside a wall, a whimsicalContinue reading “‘Coraline’: Stop-Motion is Just About Guaranteed to be Unsettling (review)”