‘The Midnight Meat Train’: Exquisite and Eerie (review)

Leon (Bradley Cooper) is a photographer looking to capture the brutal heart of New York City. He gets more than he bargained for when he comes across Mahogany (Vinnie Jones), a serial killer who hunts his victims on the late-night subway (as suggested by the title). Leon, intrigued by Mahogany, tracks him, and finds outContinue reading “‘The Midnight Meat Train’: Exquisite and Eerie (review)”

‘Digging Up the Marrow’: Adam Green Delivers Again (review)

Real-life filmmaker Adam Green is, in the reality of the movie, making a documentary about monsters. He’s contacted by William Dekker (Ray Wise), who tells him that he’s found a nest of real monsters. Adam is intrigued and later obsessed with getting to the bottom of Dekker’s story. He and his cameraman Will (Will Barratt)Continue reading “‘Digging Up the Marrow’: Adam Green Delivers Again (review)”

‘Rumpelstiltskin’: So Bad, it’s…Just Bad (review)

Rumpelstiltskin (Max Grodénchik) is a goblin-type guy in the 1400s wanting to trick people into letting him grant them wishes so he can claim their first-born babies. The local villagers are less than pleased with his conduct and hunt him down, and a witch turns him into a statue. Flash-forward to present-day LA, when housewifeContinue reading “‘Rumpelstiltskin’: So Bad, it’s…Just Bad (review)”

‘Return to Oz’: Way Creepier than ‘The Wizard of Oz’ (review)

It’s six months after Dorothy (Fairuza Balk) returned from Oz (actually forty-six years in real time). Dorothy can’t shut up about her wonderful adventures in Oz, which earns her a trip to the local sanitarium for shock treatment. After escaping, Dorothy wakes up back in Oz, this time with her chicken Billina (voiced by DeniseContinue reading “‘Return to Oz’: Way Creepier than ‘The Wizard of Oz’ (review)”

Mary Lambert’s ‘Pet Sematary Two’: Dead Continues to Be Bettah (review)

Jeff (Edward Furlong) is a teenage boy who has just lost his mother Renee (Darlanne Fluegel); he and his veterinarian father Chase (Anthony Edwards) relocate to Renee’s hometown of Ludlow, Maine (home also of the unfortunate Creed family from the original film). Once there, Jeff and his friend Drew (Jason McGuire) experiment with the unholyContinue reading “Mary Lambert’s ‘Pet Sematary Two’: Dead Continues to Be Bettah (review)”

Clive Barker’s ‘Nightbreed’: A Bloody Fairy Tale (review)

Written and directed by Clive Barker, adapted from his story. Boone (Craig Sheffer) is a seemingly nice guy who during a therapy session with his psychiatrist Dr. Decker (David Cronenberg) finds out that while under hypnosis he confessed to killing fifteen people. Boone flees to the mythical town of Midian, where the monsters live andContinue reading “Clive Barker’s ‘Nightbreed’: A Bloody Fairy Tale (review)”

1987’s ‘The Monster Squad’ Withstands the Test of Time (review)

In the late 1800s, Van Helsing and pals try to kill all of Universal Studio’s lineup: Dracula (Duncan Regehr), Frankenstein’s monster (Tom Noonan), the Mummy (Michael Reid MacKay), the Wolfman (Carl Thibault), and Gillman (the Creature from the Black Lagoon) (Tom Woodruff Jr.). “They blew it.” So 100 years later, the task is left toContinue reading “1987’s ‘The Monster Squad’ Withstands the Test of Time (review)”

‘Mad Monster Party?’: Primitive Graphics and Simple Jokes, but Still Amusing (review)

1967 movie made by Rankin and Bass, the guys behind those old claymation Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer movies. Baron von Frankenstein (voice of Boris Karloff) has just invented “the means to destroy matter.” He wants to hold a conference to tell his monster buddies about his discovery and also that he’s retiring and leaving hisContinue reading “‘Mad Monster Party?’: Primitive Graphics and Simple Jokes, but Still Amusing (review)”

‘The Langoliers’: *Siiiigh* (review)

Ten passengers on a plane awake from a nap to find that everyone else—including the pilot—has disappeared. Fortunately the captain apparently put the plane on autopilot before vanishing, and Brian the off-duty pilot (David Morse) is onboard. Besides Brian, there’s British spy Nick (Mark Lindsay Chapman), schoolteacher Laurel (Patricia Wettig), blind psychic kid Dinah (KateContinue reading “‘The Langoliers’: *Siiiigh* (review)”

‘Jeepers Creepers’: Simultaneously Eerie and Ludicrous (review)

*Before I start, I feel I’d be remiss if I didn’t bring up writer/director Victor Salva’s past sexual misconduct conviction. I wrote this review originally in 2016 unaware, and between revising it in 2019 I became aware. * Darry (Justin Long) and his sister Trish (Gina Philips) are driving home from college when they’re menacedContinue reading “‘Jeepers Creepers’: Simultaneously Eerie and Ludicrous (review)”